OFFICIAL DEPARTMENT OF QUESTIONABLE TOURISM POPULATION: 69. NICE.
tonguetown.
Tongue Town cowboy tongue badge
YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY ARRIVED

Welcome to
Tongue Town.

A very real website for a very unserious place.
Founded on a bar joke. Governed by absolutely nobody.

69TAKE THE SCENIC ROUTE.
STAY FOR THE BIT.
BOB’S BARCADE / VOXEL EDITION

Mind Eraser Sundays.

807 IRVING STREET · SUNDAY SHIFT
Three surprise challenges. One 69-second shift.
TIME LEFT69s
BOB’S TIP JAR0
STREAK0×
HOUSE RECORD · THIS DEVICE0
THE LITTLE SHAMROCK NO MEMORY. NO PROBLEM.
SUNDAY. 69 SECONDS. ABSOLUTE SCENES.

Keep the pours.
Lose the plot.

You’re Bob. Three thirsty regulars.
One extremely judgmental Megan.

  1. Pick a regular: 1, 2, 3 or tap a ticket.
  2. Hold Space or the pour button.
  3. Release at 69 to slide it down the bar.
Good pours build your tips. Miss an order? They’re waiting for Katie.
HOLD. POUR. RELEASE.0 / 69
← → / 1 2 3: choose a stool · SPACE: hold & release · P: pauseA fictional shift. No drinking required.
GOOD TASTE IS OPTIONAL ✳ POP. 69 ✳ YOU CAN’T UNHEAR A TOWN ✳ WISH YOU WERE HERE ✳
SMALL TOWN. BIG PERSONALITIES.

Meet the founding bad influences.

01 / BEHIND THE BAR

Bob

Mayor. Bartender. Her town, her rules.

Behind the bar at the Little Shamrock. Famous for Mind Erasers on Sundays. Responsible for the pours. Plausibly responsible for the name of this town.

02 / IN HER USUAL SPOT

Megan

Regular. Co-founder. Keeper of the bit.

Every town needs a local legend. This one already has a seat at the bar. The joke has gone too far. Perfect.

03 / NOW ENTERING

You

Honorary resident. No paperwork.

You clicked the link. You live here now. The population is still 69. Don’t make us explain the census.

THE SOUVENIR DEPARTMENT

Bring the bad idea home.

Real merch. Made to order. Delivered to your door.

Visit the Tongue Town shop ↗
The town uniform — official product mockupFrom $29
Ivory · Comfort Colors 1717

The town uniform

The original bad idea on heavyweight, ring-spun cotton. Relaxed fit. Absolutely no explanation included.

Choose options & order ↗
After-hours resident — official product mockupFrom $29
Black · Comfort Colors 1717

After-hours resident

Same town. Later bedtime. Our full-color cowboy badge on a black heavyweight cotton tee.

Choose options & order ↗
Honorary resident — official product mockup$28
Embroidered · Yupoong dad hat

Honorary resident

Official unofficial headwear. Black cotton twill, a low profile, and an adjustable buckle.

Choose options & order ↗
Sunday regular — official product mockup$32
Embroidered · Richardson 112

Sunday regular

Black-and-charcoal mesh-back snapback. Sunday plans: mind erasers. Monday plans: unclear.

Choose options & order ↗
Proof of residency — official product mockup$5.97
3-inch · Die-cut vinyl sticker

Proof of residency

No paperwork. Questionable citizenship. Our original badge on water-resistant vinyl with a matte protective finish.

Choose options & order ↗

Prices in USD. Tee sizes S–XL are $29; 2XL $31, 3XL $33, 4XL $35. Shipping and applicable tax are calculated at checkout. Fourthwall handles payments, fulfillment, and order support. Check the size chart before ordering: made-to-order products cannot be returned for sizing or a change of mind; print errors and visible quality issues qualify for replacement or refund. Delivery & returns ↗

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